Ashamed to be white?

I don't know if I'm racist. I think I am ashamed to be white?? I don't know. The way we treated the Aboriginals was disgusting - IS disgusting and how many years did it take the prime minster to apologize? And why didn't John Howard want to? Because he was afraid of having to pay all this money?
It literally makes me feel sick. I see racism everywhere. At my work the old boss refused to hire Indians because...?? I don't know. The cook and one of the managers are always making racial slurs to Africans and Indians and I am filled with dread and pain every time I hear them speak. They talk about 'reserve racism', what the FUCK is that? That racism only belongs to black people???
Hell, I sound so politically incorrect but I feel so messed up. I feel ashamed to be white. I am ashamed of where I come from. I'm ashamed of my colour. It hurts.  
You may have heard of, read the book or seen the movie 'Precious' which is based on the book Push by Sapphire...and I'm reading all these articles about how 'white people'v.fvsdfvnsdvfsd
fuvk
i dont kjow