I have all these things to say but no one is reading my blog spot. That's because I haven't told anyone about this page in fear that they will ridicule me. I guess I have a need to be validated. I have all these thoughts that don't link up with each other but somehow they do and what I really want is someone to read them and get excited. I wish that I could be like this kid who was in my Drama class once. He was so...attention grabbing - he commanded the spotlight and it was so over the top, so in your face..he was screaming 'hey fuckers, look at me...i'm great' and in a way it was kind of pathetic but it worked! everyone looked at him, everyone wanted to look at him. and when he was sad (which was a forced sadness, you know...to make people intrigued, to showcase his "wild in-depth emotions") people may not have cared but at least they pretended to care. okay "so what?" you might be thinking...they didn't care. Well, no they didn't but what wouldn't I have given for someone to show interest in me...fake or otherwise at least they would be putting in the time. but nobody did. Hmm. I do spend a lot of time thinking about myself and who I'm not and who I could be if only I was different.
"On Wednesday, when the sky is blue,
And I have nothing else to do,
I sometimes wonder if it's true
That who is what and what is who."
- A.A Milne
I'm listening to Nat King Cole right now. He has quite a delicious voice indeed. I gave Ananda her Christmas present before. I bought her a little wooden box with silver elephants engraved on the front, a small blue cloth bag with elephants dancing and a peach scented candle. She likes elephants. I like elephants too.
How foolish everything seems!
I like this post very much.
ReplyDeleteI like the way you are, you are so wonderfully odd.
Attention grabbers live up to their name.
Elephants make me go off.